Small Sacrifices

As I stood in the grocery checkout line today, I perused the magazine headlines.  “Lose 10 pounds in a week.”  “The new squid diet.”  “Eat all you want, and still lose weight.” I was interested!  After all, who can’t rely on tabloids to keep us accurately informed on the latest health news?  But alas, no dieting for me today I tell ya.  No sir!  Not this gal.  Tomorrow though, I’m ready to make the “sacrifice.”

I plan to eat well tonight because I’m scheduled to fast all day tomorrow.  That means that I will go the entire day without food.  A WHOLE DAY!  Of course I will have all the clean, fresh, cold water and caffeine free diet coke I can handle while going without this food.  If I’m lucky, I might even shed just one of the 60 or so extra pounds of body weight I currently possess.  I will also get to consume all this water and diet coke while sitting comfortably in my air conditioned suburban home; watching TV or reading a book.

I will go without food for one day so that one child may be able to eat one meal tomorrow.  That one meal will most likely consist of rice or beans and maybe some vegetables, but, will be prepared with clean water.  That one meal will also most likely be given only to that one family member.  There’s simply not enough to feed an entire family one meal a day.  Some of these families have several children.  Tough choices have to be made.  Which child do we enroll in the Compassion International Project in our village?  How do we decide which child gets enough?  What about our other children?

Have you had to ask these same questions about any of your children lately?

According to the latest statistics from the UN, 30,000 children under the age of 5 die EVERY DAY from preventable diseases.

30,000!  That’s 2/3’s the population of the city I live in!

Most of these children die because they lack clean drinking water, basic immunizations, and enough food to adequately nourish their frail little bodies.  They die because their parents, or other care providers had to make a tough choice.  A choice that most Americans can’t even imagine.

Why can’t we imagine?

Nearly 2/3’s of Americans over age 20 are overweight or obese.  Nearly 1/3 are clinically obese (BMI>30).

Less than 1/3 are considered to be at a healthy weight.

Approximately 17% of US children and adolescents are overweight.

The number one vegetable served to American toddlers over the age of 15 months is french fries.  French fries?  I’m betting not many toddlers have to be tricked into eating those veggies.

Unfortunately, the second set of statistics get a lot more press and attention here in the U.S. In the “West” in general actually.  They’re important to be sure.  The health crisis in America is largely due to poor eating habits (too much fat and sugar) and lack of exercise.  Some say that our life style will soon cripple the health care system because there will simply be too many morbidly obese, out of shape people to adequately care for.  Of course, these people will obviously be alive and well over the age of 5 when we’re attempting to provide this care.  We won’t be relying on help from others either.  The others, the first group of statistics, will not be here to care for us.  They died today.  30,000 more will die tomorrow.  And yet another 30,000 the next day.  That’s 10,980,000 (almost 11 million) this year alone.

While I realize my opening paragraph is dripping with sarcasm (or my poor attempt at it anyway), my intent is not sarcasm at all.  Don’t let my poor attempts keep you from action.

Please, please rescue a child today.  Spare just one family from the tragedy of choosing which child gets to live.  Chisel away at the number of children who die each day by making a small sacrifice.

I will “sacrifice” one day of meals tomorrow.  Believe me when I tell you that’s it’s truly NO sacrifice; not even a little one.  It’s a place to start.  It’s a small step that has the potential to change the world.

What will you sacrifice?

40 Day Fast-Check It Out

Hello Dear Friends,

Check out the list on the right.  You can’t miss it.  It’s the really LONG one with all the names and dates.  No, it’s not some super birthday list I created or anything like that.  It’s a list of wonderful folks who’ve teamed up this year for the 2nd Annual 40 Day Fast.  You can find out more by going to Inspired To Action.  This fast started last year in response to this photo:

Please take a few minutes each day to do a few simple things that could have a HUGE impact:

1.  Pray for the team that’s fasting on each given day.

2.  Check out their blogs, websites, etc. and read what they’ve posted. (You can do this by simply clicking on their name!)

3.  Leave them a comment telling them how the article impacted you.

4.  Go to the website(s) of any particular organization they are blogging about and learn how YOU can help.

5. Ask God what He wants you to do.

6.  DO IT!!!

Please don’t casually dismiss the above photo as “shock appeal” without any relavance.  It’s real and it’s time to do something to change this reality.

Bulletproof Living,

Beth

I’m Still Here (Get a Cupa. This is a LONG One)!

OK.  I know you’ve all (well, Cristy anyway) missed me so much and are anxiously sitting on the edge of your seat for my next installment of wit and wisdom.  I didn’t fall off the planet, I’ve just returned from a vacation with my family.  Yes, a real, honest-to-goodness-entire-family-in-one-car-driving-LOTS-of-(expensive) miles-vacation!

We left right around O’ dark hundred (that’s the military equivalent of WAY before anyone should be up and expected to function) on Memorial Day and headed to Ohio.  We stopped in Indiana (sorry I didn’t call Cristy!) the first night where Country Inn and Suites were quite happy to lend us two rooms for the night.  Two rooms not only allows us to each have an actual (not fold away) sleeping space, it means that not all of us are subjected to the “jet noise” that is present any (and EVERY) time my husband has his eyes closed.  Since I am the one that shares a bed with him, I did remember to pack the extra heavy duty ear plugs however.  After partaking of their included breakfast of waffles, cereal, and juice the following morning, we finished our journey to Sandusky, OH; official home of Cedar Point Amusement Park.  I was able to take the girls there last year with my best friend and her kids and we had a blast.  This is a place that my husband has wanted to go all his life.  Growing up in Michigan as he did meant this was pretty close, but not close enough for a family of 10 to travel to on one income and many hungry mouths to feed.

So, since the Air Force decided not to have Scott spend his summer at the “beach” on the coast of Qatar, we decided that we’d take what could possibly be our last “whole family” vacation.  Alex (our oldest and only son) graduated from high school this year and will soon be heading for mission fields abroad.

We had purchased a package plan which included our hotel, full day tickets to the theme park and the (outdoor) water park and evening tickets to the theme park as well.  After we checked into our rooms and unloaded the van, the kids and I opted for the much warmer indoor water park, while my husband opted to get our much used van checked out before the rest of our trip.

Now, let me remind you (for those who may not be daily visitors here) that I had foot surgery 5 weeks ago (3 weeks at the beginning of this trip) and I was sporting a very fashionable fracture boot and a cane (I’d graduated from the crutches the day before our trip).  So when I say that I opted for the water park, what I really mean is that I opted to watch the kids and read a book at the water park.  I got to experience all of this fun for the same low, low price as actual admission to the “water” part of the water park.  It did look like great fun though and I still got to smell the chlorine and the kids did manage to drip all over me when they stopped long enough to tell me how great everything was.

After a very tasty dinner at TGI Friday’s, my hubby and three of the four kids headed out to use the evening admission tickets to the theme park.  Being the “extreme adventurists” they are, they figured they’d need that extra evening to truly experience all the roller coasters available.  My “less adventuous” child (loves fast, spinning things, but not things on tracks that could possibly go upside down or rattle her skinny body to death) and I opted for a cozy evening of TV and snacking.

Soon after our arrival and check-in, it soon became very apparent that we forgot something essential to the success of our SUMMER vacation; jackets!  Being from North Dakota you’d think that temperatures in the high 40’s and low 50’s would be just fine with us.  Normally, it would.  However, by late May, we’ve already changed our blood from the winterized version to the much thinner summer version and we weren’t prepared for this shock to our temperature control systems.  The vacation package did not include winter apparel so we headed to the local Meijers (l heart that store BTW!) for some long sleeve stuff.  Temperatures being what they were, winter clothing should’ve been easy to find, but it seems that those in Ohio had recently changed their blood to the summer version too, so we didn’t have much to choose from.

Mary (our youngest and the absolute best at getting anything she wants from her daddy), got an “official” Cedar Point hoodie to keep her warm, but the rest of us needed something.  I happened upon a great micro fleece jacket for our soon-to-be 12 year old for $5 that was her school colors!  Very cool indeed.  Next we headed to the men’s department so we could find something for Alex.  He saw a red jacket and picked it up.  Only $8 on clearance.  Upon seeing said jacket though, I screamed and told him to drop it immediately and run to the nearest hand sanitizer dispenser and scrub hard; very hard.  You see, he’d picked up something terrifying.  I can scarcely manage to mention it here for fear young children may read this.  Yes, he actually held in his tender little hands, a jacket from (YIKES!) Ohio State!  (We tried to make it to Michigan when I went into labor with him, but he was really born in Illinois).  I gently, but firmly explained to him that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would ANYTHING Ohio State EVER grace our Michigan bodies.  It would be sacrelige to say the least!  We eventually managed to find something suitable and non-threatening to our Michigan heritage, and headed to the park.

The weather being what it was, we also didn’t think about sunscreen.  This would prove to be a very painful ommission for our oldest daughter, Kelly.  She is known in our family as the “pasty white English girl.”  Merely muttering the word “sun” has been known to cause her to turn pink.  You see, fashion being the upmost to most American 15 year old girls, she opted to freeze rather than wear the sweatshirt she’d remembered to actually pack (no wonder she had her own suitcase!).  This left her with a mere two shirts on; both of the “tank” variety.  That sun was tricky though.  Hiding behind the wind and the clouds allowed it to sneak up on Kelly, totally unawares.  She was VERY aware later that night however.  Ever seen a Maine lobster after it comes out of the steamer?  That’s pretty much what she looked like after a day at the “Point.”  She managed to utter “Solarcaine” between cries of pain so we headed off to Meijers again in search of pain relief.

Back up a minute.  To the part after the jacket search, but before the sunburn.  Since I was relatively confident in knowing that I’d not make it more than 30 feet into the park under my own power, I opted for the much more comfortable option; a motorized scooter.  My aforementioned “less adventuous” daughter and I headed off to the spinning very fast, but not upside down, rides, while the others headed to the roller coasters again.  My husband is quite a roller coaster fan too so of course he decided it would be his fatherly duty to “supervise” the other children on these rides.  Normally, I would have fought him for this privelige, but since I couldn’t figure out how to get the scooter strapped safely into the coaster seat, I decided to forego them this trip.  I will say though that I had an absolutely terrific time watching my less-adventurous daughter ride everything she wanted to, multiple times and experience the sheer joy she held on her face.  It was great to spend a day with her.  The very close second place joy-providing-experience would undoubtedly be lunch at Chik-Fil-A.  Diet Lemonade AND chicken nuggets!  Pure heaven (almost)!

Following all the roller coaster fun (yes, Kelly and Scott rode the “Dragster”), we headed to Michigan to see family.  We made a brief stop in Lowell just to make sure our newest niece hadn’t grown too much since we’d seen her at Christmas.  She’s grown some, but was still at the very acceptable, cuddly, cheek-pinching stage.  Onward to Traverse City and the folks.  Grammy made beef barbeques for dinner.  Macknezie (the skinny, picky, never likes anything kid) only ate three!  Grammy makes THE BEST everything according to her.  I’ll gladly take second to this woman in any category.  She is awesome indeed.  This best meal was followed up by another week of awesome meals and even awesomer desserts.  I LOVE this woman!

We have a piece of land in Michigan that we bought years ago in hopes of retiring there someday.  It’s beautiful and almost completely covered in trees.  This is great except that it’s hard to build a house on it (unless you’re the Robinson family) until some of the trees are cleared.  This necessary clearing meant that my hubby and son spent a few days playing with power tools (can you say FUN?).  Chain saws were sharpened and oiled and off they went.  Many trips and a few blisters later, the folks have plenty of wood for the winter and we have room for a house amongst (not in ) the trees.  And because the oldest sister of my hubby got word that baby brother was bringing the chain saws (and the big, willing to work for food, son) home for a visit, she decided that it would be an opportune time to have a very big and very house-foundation-invading tree from her lot as well.  We set off again to their home for the big tree trimming.  We don’t need much (if any) of an excuse to get together for a party involving food, so of course this event more than qualified.  Since none of our family was able to travel to ND for graduation, we brought the graduate to them!  We had a small, but very important party to commemorate this momentous occasion for Alex.  He was surprised to say the least and even more surprised that the topper on the cake was the same one that was on his dad’s cake when he graduated in 1983.  Yes, it’s still around.

After a week of Grammy’s cooking (and a trip to Meijer’s again for larger clothing), we headed to the U.P. for our final vacation stop.  Aunt KKay and Uncle Matt’s house.  This is my kids FAVORITE stop on any vacation.  It could be because they have a very cool creek that runs behind their house; perfect for swimming, spashing, and boating in.  It could be due to the woods that are perfect for fort building and “wild animal” hunting.  It may also be due to the readily available frogs in the pond, just waiting to be caught (again and again!).  I personally think it’s because Aunt KKay is also a wonderful cook (learned from Grammy of course) and it’s the only time they all get to camp out on the living room floor with all their cousins!  Maria (my 6 year old niece) thinks the very best seat in the house is right in cousin Alex’s lap.  Ben (my 4 year old nephew) also thinks that Alex plays table hockey and Uno better than anyone else in the world.  Jake (my 10 year old nephew) is thrilled that he BEAT Alex at table top hockey.  Maria and Mary (often just shortened to MariaMary) played dress up for hours and spent more time taking “tubbies” than any kid should be allowed.  These were “just for fun tubbies” as opposed to the “take a bath to get clean” tubbies; so they were happy to spend hours in the tub bathing every doll in the house.

Upon completion of a long weekend at the coolest Aunt and Uncle’s house, we headed home once again.  I had a lot of fun on this trip because I didn’t have to drive.  I got to sit in the passenger seat with my mp3 player loaded with lots of Shaun Groves, Leeland, Phil Wickham and the soundtrack to The Phantom of the Opera, my “Mater” pillow and a HUGE caffiene free diet coke (I know, full of adventure, that’s me!).   The kids had books, dvds and card games to play.  My husband had his quart of diet Dew.  Who could have anything BUT a great vacation?  I did some great reading on this trip too and will post about this next.  This post is already a record breaker and besides, I’m sure Cristy has to “go” by now anyway.

Thanks for going on vacation with us.  I hope you had as much fun!

Off With the Old, On With the New

I got my cast off today, one day shy of two weeks post surgery.  It felt so good to be able to wiggle my toes just a little, not to mention giving my lower leg a bath!  I am now in a fracture boot.  It’s a big, bulky, space-age looking thing, but, I can remove it at my will to air out my leg, scratch the itch that was previously unreachable, and take sort of a real shower!  Semi-freedom at last.  I still can’t put much weight on it at all, but the doctor says that I’m on track and healing nicely.  Thanks for all your prayers and good wishes.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all those moms out there.  New, Grand, Foster, Adopted, or Borrowed.  It doesn’t matter.  Celebrate the gift God has given you in your children today.  Motherhood is a wonderful thing (even at 2am with a colicy baby) and even though I celebrated from my bed most of the day, it was a good day.

My youngest, Mary, presented me with breakfast in bed this morning.  Toast with butter and cinnamon sugar.  YUM!  She brought me a hand wrapped gift next.  A small watering can filled with silk flowers and tied with a ribbon she made.  She’d printed “Happy Mother’s Day 2008″ on the side of the can.  I tied the ribbon in her hair for church today and she was absolutely adorable!

I must share with you the card she gave me this morning.  I will cherish it forever; just as I do her.  I’m using her spelling too.

The front cover is a flower pot with a flower in it.  Each petal has a different word:  Great, pretty, special, funny, nice, loving, fameous, the best mom.

Each page follows:

If I could, I’d give my mother:  a neclic with reall dimends and a solid gold bracelet

The things I do that make my mother happy are:  telling really funny jokes and sometimes I tickle her

I can tell my mother cares about me by the way she:  talks to me and how she looks at me

The most special times with my mother are:  all holidays and times just for us.

I’d like to thank my mother for:  Loveing me and careing about me.

The most important things my mother does for me are:  buying me cloths and giving me food when I need it.

The End.

Isn’t that just about the most precious thing you’ve ever read in your whole life?

My husband made a wonderful steak and shrimp dinner for the whole family tonight and completed it with a DQ cake.  Yes, I’m blessed beyond measure.

I took time today to remember my mom.  A blessing she was to me and my family too.  She was orphaned at the age of 3 so she didn’t have a mother to show her how to be a good mother.  She was though.  Not perfect, but exactly the mother I needed.  God is wise for sure.  Thank you mom.  Thank you for everything.  Thank you for being mom.  I wish she was still her on this earth to share my life and my kids.  Glory is hers now and I look forward to sharing heaven with her one day.
Beth

Do shoes come in EXXXXXXXTRA Wide?

I had surgery on my foot this morning.  I’ve been living with a fairly constant pain in my right foot for over a year now and it was finally determined that the culprut was a large accessory bone.  The bone is now gone and a ligament fused and strengthened.  I am sporting a lovely rigid half-cast/ace-wrap contraption that, coupled with the swelling, lends great credence to the recent big foot sightings in the mid-west.

I am brushing up on my assisted walking with crutches too.  I nearly had a coronary coming up the stairs.  This does NOT mean I’m out of shape at all.  AM in shape.  Round is a shape after all.

Right now the plan is for me to be in a “non-weight-bearing” status for approximately 4 weeks.  This status will undoubtedly lead to the improvement of my already wonderfully round shape!  Isn’t that geat?  I’m such a multi-tasker; which is not the same as a Nathan Tasker, but handy none the less.

I have stocked up on reading materials and dusted off my DVD collection so I should be prepared for the shape-building routine I’m in for during the next few weeks.  Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes.  They were all greatly appreciated!

I Think I’m About to Be Angry.

My friend Shaun has been in the Dominican Republic this week, shooting videos for use with Compassion International.   These videos will be used at concerts and festivals to share what Compassion does for children and their families.  In the process of all this video production, he’s had the opportunity to visit homes and villages of children who are in Compassion projects.  He’s also seen some very disturbing problems, such as this and this.  Like him, I don’t know what to do about it all either, but something MUST be done.  These precious children suffer enough with poverty without having birth defects heaped on them for the sake of cheap U.S. goods.  Please pray for wisdom, discernment, understanding, and perseverance.

Just a Little Bite?

Spring has finally made it’s appearance here in North Dakota. It’s been here for a few days and seems to have overpowered winter for the time being. The first year we lived here, it snowed on Mother’s Day, so it’s not out of the question, but the white fluffy stuff seems to have retreated for now. With the arrival of Spring, and then of course summer (otherwise known as “road repair” here) brings the inevitable; the flying pests; mosquitoes.

I am not particularly bothered by mosquitoes most of the time. They don’t usually bother to bite me for whatever reason. Maybe it’s because they know that even though I’m old, I can still swat with a vengeance that will surely leave them dead. Maybe I’m just not “sweet” enough. On second thought, I’m sure that’s not it because I am indeed sweet. My girls, however, are another story. Not in the sweet department ’cause they are Webster’s definition of sweet; but in the “bothered by mosquitoes” department; they are especially prone to attacks.

They can spend 10 minutes outside and come in looking like they have the chicken pox. I’m not kidding. One, small bite swells until it is 3 to 4 inches in diameter and it spreads from there. We purchase Calamine lotion and Aveeno Oatmeal bath by the case during the summer. They itch and complain and itch some more and look like walking polka dots afterward. It’s a bother to say the least, but it ends there.

The CDC reports that there were 1,337 cases of Malaria in the US in 2002. All but 5 of those cases were imported from Malaria invested countries. Those 1, 337 cases resulted in 8 deaths. Officially, Malaria has been eradicated in the US, but because the variety of mosquito that carries the parasite causing Malaria still lives in the US, an outbreak is possible. It’s not likely though and not a worry or even a thought for most Americans unless they travel.

41% of the world population isn’t so worry-free. Each year, 350 to 500 MILLION cases of Malaria are reported worldwide resulting in over 1,000,000 deaths. The vast majority of these deaths occur in young children living in sub-Saharan Africa. Malaria kills more people every year than AIDS.

In areas of Africa with high malaria transmission, an estimated 990,000 people died of malaria in 1995 – over 2700 deaths per day, or 2 deaths per minute.

Do you think if something was killing over 1 million of America’s children each year, something would be done to stop it? How would our government respond? How would the health care system respond? How would the church respond? How would YOU respond?

While it’s true that the children affected by Malaria are not American, they ARE God’s children. Created in His image and loved as much by Him as all others He created. These children, the least of these, are dying by the millions, and we MUST do something in response. God has mandated that we ALL care for the least of these. A mandate is not an option; it’s a command. We either obey or disobey. There’s no in between with a mandate.

First, pray. Seek the answer to exactly how God is calling you to carry out this mandate. Maybe He is calling you to go into the mission field and work with those suffering from Malaria. Maybe He’s calling you seek out new treatments or preventions. For sure He’s calling you to pray for those who deal with this disease in any way. He may be asking you to do this:

Click Malaria Intervention Fund and find out what you can do to help intervene where it’s needed most. This is one small, but extremely powerful impact that you can have on those who are affected by this deadly disease. I hear lots of people say “I’m just one person. I can’t change the world.” Maybe not, but just one person can start to change the world. If even just one person choses to be obedient and fight the spread of Malaria, that same person CAN change the world of someone who could otherwise die from this preventable disease. Let that one person be YOU! I promise you won’t be disappointed. Click on the link, give to the Malaria Intervention Fund, change the world. Then add the link to your site so others can be a part of the change too.

“Any Day Above Dirt Is A Good Day”

That’s the reply I heard from a client yesterday as he was asked by my receptionist, “how are you today?”  I stopped to think about that response for a minute and realized how an outlook such as this can really determine the direction of one’s day.

He was simply saying that just being alive (and therefore not “beneath dirt”) is enough to make it a good day.  The success of his day was not being determined by how much money he had, or didn’t have, what he ate or if he ate, what the weather was like, or any other material thing.  After all, this man was in a tax office picking up his return.  He was not at Disneyland or Bonanzaville.  He was some place people do not generally visit when seeking out excitement, fulfillment or overall “having a good day” feelings.  Circumstances are not what determines this person’s outlook.  Do circumstances determine yours?  I admit they do determine mine more often than I’d like.

I’d like to be able to respond to each day with the same outlook as this client, but some days I am just too caught up in my temporal wants and comforts, my shoulda, coulda, woulda’s to be content in my did’s can’s and will’s.

I battle clinical depression, and have done so most of my adult life.  So much of my battle is waged in faith and lack of faith; between contentment and desire.  I’m not unique by any standard in this respect, but sometimes my battles leave me feeling so tired, lost, and just plain lonely and hopeless.  I can tell myself that God will see me through (He ALWAYS does), but living like He will is way harder.  I had a pastor tell me one time to “fake it ’till I make it.”  He was saying that walk my walk as if it matched my talk.  In God’s time, they actually would match, or at least look very similar.  Right now, I’m faking it, and the walk and the talk are miles apart in many ways.  Is it possible to be “genuinely fake?”  I think so.  I hope so.  If not, I’m not sure what I am right now.

Beth

Tough Day?

I’ve spent this week doing an internal audit of my company’s offices here in my city.  They are random audits of returns to ensure accuracy, compliance with company, bank and IRS directives, etc.  They’re not difficult to accomplish, but pretty mundane and boring none the less.  Not to mention that they make my eyes hurt after staring at all those numbers and signatures.  The little excel boxes they want everything neatly written in don’t exactly help either.  They went very well though and I was very happy (but not at all surprised) that everything was “A-OK.”

The last office today was located in a Wal-Mart, so when I finished up, I took a stroll through the aisles.  After all, that place is filled with so many things that I really “need”.  I must preface my next statement by telling you that to “not know something” in complete detail is as close to torture as I ever want to be.  Especially when it comes to my children.  So when I received a phone call from my 18 year old son today, asking me when I was planning to be home, it piqued my interest.  When I asked why he wanted to know, he said “something big happened today.  Really big, and I need to tell you about it.”  After being reassured that he was physically OK,  I asked again if he was OK (moms tend to ask that A LOT) and he said that “his conscience hurt.”

I tried not to break any speed records getting home.  I even managed to remember to pray FIRST as I was driving home and sort of succeeded in not letting my imagination run too far down the road.  I was only 5 minutes from home so how far could it run(accident, smoking, drugs, cult, sex)?  I pulled into the driveway and realized that my husband was already home.  I came in to the both of them sitting in the living room with very serious looks on their faces and my son doing everything in his power to not to burst into tears.

He proceeded to tell about an incident at school today involving him and our 15 year old daughter, Kelly and two of her friends.  He said that he’d already told Kelly that he was going to tell us what happened.  That’s when I really started to let the old imagination go.  I hadn’t considered it might involve her in my earlier romp through “what if….land.”

He said that Kelly’s friend “A” was very upset with her today and they had some “loud, angry, words” after school about Kelly’s borrowing of friend “B’s” car earlier today.  BORROWING A CAR?!  That would not generally be a good thing, but not earth shaking, except for the fact the Kelly does NOT have a driver’s license.  This obvious faux paux  didn’t slip by “A” either, but for reasons known only to teen girls, she decided this particular slip warranted a physical to-do.  She in fact stated such and even named the place and time.  Our front yard, after school.

Sure enough, upon arrival of Alex and Kelly at home, they were greeted by “A” and “B”.  “A” exited previously borrowed “B’s” car, and began a shoving match.  It escalated to a slapping match  and Kelly was slapped hard in the face, causing her glasses to fly off and her to fall down.  This immediately sent my son into “big brother protection mode” and he grabbed  “A’s” neck and shoved her against the car.  This stopped the fight, dead in it’s tracks.  “A” and “B” departed without further altercation.  “A’s” boyfriend called afterward to let Alex know that he wasn’t going to stand by while his girlfriend got shoved around.  They both decided however, to talk rather than fight.  I was proud of them  for being able to see all sides and determine that no one was wearing their “thinking caps” today.  Both boys decided that further fighting wouldn’t solve anything.  No threats, no angry words, no shouting.  Good, constructive, conversation.  Quick learners!

My son’s conscience-hurting-quandary was this; he’d reacted violently to violence.  While he didn’t injure the girl who’d just knocked his sister to the ground, he could have; seriously.  He did not regret coming to his sister’s aide, but he deeply regretted his choice of “aide”.   After coming inside, he began to ponder the possible consequences of his (re)action, and they really scared him.  He was very disappointed in himself; very disappointed.  He wondered why he didn’t just make his sister go inside, stand between them, anything non-violent.  He is seriously considering full time mission work and he loves the Lord deeply.  This was HUGE for him.  He didn’t know he would react that way at all.  He needed us to know that he’d screwed up.  He need us to know that he realized the seriousness of the situation.  Mostly, he needed us.  He needed us to be there, to talk through things, to see all sides.  He needed us to say “we still love you.”

Kelly needed to hear “we still love you” too and she heard it; several times.  She also needed to hear that borrowing her friend’s car to go get a coke at the gas station was undoubtedly NOT the best decision she’s ever made.  It resulted in a physical fight with a friend.  It put her brother, and the friend who’s car she borrowed, in a potentially bad situation.  It was a very expensive coke.  It cost her dearly.  She’s now without a learner’s permit, and will be for the foreseeable future.  She is without the same level of trust in her she enjoyed before today.  She has spent the evening trying to reconcile with “A” and “B” and getting assurance from “A’s” parents that charges would not be pressed against any parties.  (Alex was very scared he’d end up in jail tonight for his actions).  We got the assurance directly from the parents.

They both learned some valuable lessons today though.  Kelly learned that doing the wrong thing hurts more than herself sometimes.  The cost is borne by more than her at times too.  She learned trust is something that once lost, will take time to regain.  She also learned that the brother she picks on a lot is always going to be there for her.  He will sacrifice for her.  She learned, deep in her inmost heart, that he loves her like no one else can.

Alex learned that things can go wrong very quickly.  He learned that being a pacifist is much harder when defending someone you love.  Pacifism involves much more than not picking up a weapon.  He learned how to talk through and settle things in an adult manner.  He learned about a part of himself he didn’t know was there before.

My husband and I both learned something too.  All in all, even with today’s events, our kids are pretty good ones.  Not perfect, but pretty good none the less.  They still need us; and today they could admit that.  For teenagers, that’s a miracle in itself!

I realize that I’m making light of this situation (and failing miserably), but bear with me here.  It’s been a tough day.

Peace